


Two Spiders and a Princess Walk Into a Hotel...

by Iamacarrot



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Has No Idea How To Feel, And I Want Them To Bond Over Something!, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arackniss and Angel Need To Get Their Shit Together, But It Isn't Prominent, But She Can Kick Ass If Needed, Chaggie Moments Are Sprinkled In As Well, Charlie's In Over Her Head, Especially If It's Her Siblings', F/F, Fat Nuggets Loves Everyone, For Reasons Soon To Be Known, He Needs To Be Trapped In The Naughty Corner, Henroin Is Just a Bad Dad, Her Brothers Don't Deserve Her, Humor, Husk Is Enjoying Every Second, Kinda, Kinda Radiodust, M/M, Molly Is Too Sweet To Be In Hell, Niffty Wants To Murder Arackniss, Sibling Bonding, They Are Emotionally Constipated Brothers, Vaggie is So Done (Hazbin Hotel), at first, hopefully
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamacarrot/pseuds/Iamacarrot
Summary: ...and chaos ensues seconds after their arrival.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Comments: 7
Kudos: 69





	1. Surprise!(?)

There are very few things in Angel Dust's life and afterlife that have managed to make him feel confused, amazed, shocked, and livid all at once. There are even fewer things that make these feelings present in every physical way possible. So, knowing that Charlie- the sweetest being in Hell (next to Angel's sister Molly) -was the cause of these feelings was enough to surprise even the most emotionless patrons of the Hazbin Hotel.

"Charlie... why are my brother and sister standing in the doorway?" The question was asked calmly enough, but there was nothing calm about Angel's posture. His fur stood on end, his claws sheathed and unsheathed in sporadic moments, and it was clear that he was fighting back the urge to both hug his siblings and draw a gun to start a fight at the same time. When Charlie smiled sheepishly, Angel Dust became even more tense, now knowing for a fact that this was part of some deliberate plan of hers to help him towards redemption. "Very well then. Molly, it's great to see ya, hun! Arackniss," Angel drew a gun at the speed of light, "prepare to double die."

"NO!" Charlie reached out and smacked Angel's gun away, frowning angrily at the tall spider demon. Before the princess of Hell could say anything more, she jumped at the sound of another gun being cocked. With a quick turn of the head, Charlie was- for some strange reason -shocked to be met with the sight of a .9 millimeter pointed straight at Angel's face.

"Heheh, that was pretty stupid of ya, toots. Didn't Anthony tell you anything about us comin' from a crime family? We'd rather shoot unarmed family as soon as look at 'em once they prove worthless to us." Arackniss took a step closer to Angel, completely ignoring the demoness in between them. "And this pansy proved himself worthless a _long time ago_."

"Now you stop right there, Arackniss! Angel Dust is our brother! And just because you don't agree with what he does doesn't make him worth any less than anyone else in the family!" Molly shoved Arackniss to the side, easily snatching the handgun, twirling it around, putting it on safety, and stuffing it in her chest fluff. "Let's see you try and get that back now."

Arackniss hissed, rolling all eight of his eyes before turning his attention back to Angel. From there, the two engaged in an intense staring contest, having forgotten that Charlie was still stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or, if you want to get technical, two and a half mobsters and a large hotel. With a sympathetic sigh, Molly gripped both of her brothers by their hair, silently asking Charlie where she wanted them to go. Not skipping a beat, Charlie's happy demeanor returned, and she led Molly towards the lobby, unable to keep from giggling at the sound of Angel and Arackniss complaining about how much Molly's tugging was hurting them.

"I guess ya shoulda thought o' that before starting a petty argument with each other." Molly chimed, her grip unrelenting. "Maybe next time you'll think twice."

"But I didn't even start it this time! _Anthony_ was the one who started it!"

"Hey! Don't call me that, you judgmental bastard!"

"Are you hearing this?!"

"I don't see how she couldn't, considering how you sound like a squawking chicken!"

"Take that back, pansy!"

"Make me, asshole!"

"Cock sucker!"

"Daddy's boy!"

_"Cum guzzler!"_

_"Ass kisser!"_

"Charlie! I thought you were running a hotel! Not a child... care... now wait just a Louisiana minute..." Alastor took a moment to look between the three spider demons in front of him, making mental notes of each of them. For whatever reason, knowing that Angel Dust had so many similar attributes to his siblings rubbed Alastor the wrong way, and he was having quite a hard time concluding whether or not they would all act the same as well. Though, judging by the screaming match the deer demon had heard between what he thought were two god awful toddlers, he assumed his answer would be a no.

"Uh... at the risk of sounding stupid, I gotta ask: How the fuck long is a Louisiana minute?" Arackniss asked quietly, earning a shrug from the others.

"Okay... so I'm assuming that you were planning on telling everyone else about this sometime soon. Is that correct, Charlie?" At the mention of her name, Charlie nodded, only slightly easing the turmoil in Alastor's stomach. "Perfect! I shall inform the others immediately!"

"No! Not yet!" Charlie yelped, jumping in front of Alastor. "I think it would be best to introduce everyone to Angel's family individually. That way we can avoid conflict."

With a flick of an ear, Alastor turned his head to look at the spider siblings, who were having a silent argument. Alastor then looked back at Charlie with an unimpressed and shallow smile. Charlie frowned at the look, but decided to correct herself nonetheless.

"Fine, I want to introduce everyone to the family individually to avoid creating _more_ conflict." Charlie slouched slightly, making a 'Are you happy now?' gesture to accentuate her growing exasperation. Alastor nodded, his smile gaining more amusement than before. "So, since you're the one without anything going on right now... would you like to be the first-"

"But of course! I thought you'd never ask!" Alastor chimed, stalking up to the spider demons and reaching a hand towards Angel, who placed a hand of his own in it. With a squeeze and a sweet smile, Alastor looked up at Molly, not needing to say a thing for her to understand what was going on and causing her to let go of Angel's hair. Once Angel got himself situated, Alastor poked his sides, ears perking up at Angel's giggles. "You have a lot of explaining to do, my dear."

"That's Charlie's fault, Al. Blame her." Angel whispered, pouting at his boyfriend childishly. "Don't be mean to me for something I had nothing to do with."

"I'm not." Alastor whispered back, tugging Angel close. "I'm being mean to you because you didn't tell me how much of a mess your brother is."

"Hey! I got ears, ya know!" Arackniss whined, somehow managing to escape Molly's firm grip. "And I don't really care for you Overlord types who get off on thinkin' they're better than everyone else!"

"Trust me, Arackniss, nothing gets this bastard off. Ever. He ain't into sex." Angel shrugged nonchalantly, squeaking in response to having a hand snaked down his thigh. With a frustrated growl, Angel pulled himself away from Alastor. "But he _is_ the best tease I've ever met."

"How sweet of you to think so, cher!" Arackniss rolled his eyes at the 'affectionate' display, crossing all three sets of his arms and looking pointedly at Charlie.

"Can we go ahead and get this over with? The sooner we get to know all you assholes, the sooner we can leave." Arackniss murmured, raising a brow at Molly's snicker. "What? Why're ya laughing, Molls?"

"Because you clearly weren't paying attention when Charlie was talking to us!" Molly giggled, pulling Arackniss into a side hug. "Arackniss, Charlie explicitly stated that once we were introduced to everyone in the hotel, it is our civic duty to stay on the premises until further notice, or until we are fully redeemed."

"Wait! ARE YOU SAYING THAT-"

"Congratulations Angel! You get to live with your siblings until you all get redeemed!" Charlie bounced up and down, either not noticing or ignoring the horrified look on Angel's face. What she- or anyone else, for that matter -could _not_ ignore or be unaware of was the loud scream that came from both Angel and Arackniss after hearing the news.

_**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** _


	2. Hi, My Name Is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back~

"So... who wants to share first?"

An uncomfortable silence fell over the small group as Charlie stood in front of the small semi-circle created by the spider siblings and Alastor. A nervous smile appeared on Charlie's face, and she looked at Angel pleadingly, who merely huffed and childishly turned his head in defiance. Charlie's pleading look was then sent to Alastor, who sighed and ran a hand through Angel's hair. Soft grumbling came from Angel as he stood up, walking up and urging Charlie to the side.

"Alright, well, we all know who I am, so let's get to the chase. I love my sister Molly, my friend Charlie, and my mate Alastor, but _cannot stand_ my brother Arackniss. The end." Angel walked over to the couch he had stood from, plopping down next to Alastor and huffing. With a soft scoff, Arackniss crossed all three sets of his arms, completely ignoring the friendly smile Charlie was giving him. The princess groaned at the motion, looking at Molly and smiling nervously. Thankfully, Molly smiled back, standing up and grabbing her brothers' attention.

"Hello, my name is Molly! I come from a family of three, being Angel's older twin, and- obviously -Ari's younger sister! I live in a nice little apartment near our daddy's big family home, and love everyone in my family. Unlike _some petty spiders._ " Molly glared at Angel and Arackniss, a frown on her face that was stern enough to make everyone in the circle flinch. She gave a soft smile afterwards, returning to her seat and looking at Arackniss. "Now you have no choice."

Arackniss groaned under his breath, standing up and moving to the front of the semi-circle. "My name is Arackniss. I'm the oldest of this bastard trio and don't want to be here. There."

Charlie giggled with a bit of disdain, standing up and walking up to the front. "I'm sure everyone here knows me. I'm Charlie, Lucifer's daughter and the princess of Hell! I'm ready and eager to help redeem everyone in the room and keep them happy!"

Arackniss rolled his eyes, and all attention was then turned to Alastor. The Radio Demon rose a brow, his smile unimpressed as if he was asking if he really needed to explain all of that information about himself. He truthfully didn't, but Charlie's pleading and pathetic look made him not-so-subtly run a hand through Angel's chest fluff before standing and speaking. It was nothing more than him giving his name and going on a spiel about his accomplishments in Hell (including how he "dominated" Angel in the "Most delicious of ways~" his words verbatim). Arackniss and Molly both shuddered at Alastor's implications, then turned to Angel, who blushed lightly and shrugged, acting as if he had no idea what Alastor was talking about.

"Uh... okay then. Thank you, Alastor, for that... _interesting_ speech." Charlie hummed, a light blush of her own on her face as Alastor sat down and started to run his fingers down Angel's thigh. "So! Now that we know a little more about each other, why don't we do some team building exercises?"

"Seriously? Team buildin'? Why don't we at least get situated in our own rooms?" Arackniss hissed, paying close and untrusting attention to the way Alastor touched Angel. That... did not sit well with Arackniss, and he had no idea why. "It's rude to make us do all of these activities and then leave us without rooms to go to."

"Oh! You're right! Come with me!" Charlie gasped, leading Molly and Arackniss to two vacant guest rooms. While Charlie talked about girly stuff with Molly, Arackniss snuck off to see what the Radio Demon could possibly be doing with Angel now that they were alone.

And _boy_ did he regret doing that.

The duo had situated themselves on the lobby couch, with Alastor straddling on top of Angel as they kissed with enough passion to fill an entire room. Angel moaned into the kiss, using all of his hands to run along Alastor's body eagerly. After a solid minute or so, Alastor pulled away.

"Someone is watching us, love." Alastor whispered, grasping Angel's hips possessively.

"Let them. I wouldn't mind someone knowing who I belong to~" Angel leaned up to kiss Alastor again.

"Well _I_ would." Alastor spoke roughly, moving off Angel and picking him up bridal style. "Let's move this to our room, shall we?"

Angel nodded rapidly, moaning as Alastor kissed his neck on their way to their secret room. As they left, Arackniss watched with a look of shock, trying to completely process what the _fuck_ he just saw.

"The Radio Demon is fucking my little brother..." Arackniss whispered. Upon hearing and saying the notion for himself, Arackniss summoned a gun from his suit. "Not if _I_ have anythin' to say about it!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I heard ya. I just like makin' y'all wait. :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is so fucking stupid, I'm sorry.


End file.
